My husband always cautions me that I don’t know when to “stop.” Oh, how I hate it when he is right! I must admit I do tend to overdo things – it’s part of my Obsessive Compulsive Personality. So, on the very next day after Chemo, after I went in the morning to the Cancer Center to get my Nuelasta Injection (it builds up white blood cell counts to fight off infection), I skipped lunch so I could meet with my two directees. Then I took my 1:00 p.m. allopurinol pill (this pill will stop me from getting Gout from the Chemo). By the grace of God, the sessions with the Directees went very well. But, I was beginning to get, as my mom would say “as sick as a dog” by the time they were over. I had a rough evening and night with painful heartburn that no amount of counteractions could fix. Thank the Lord that I woke up in the morning feeling a lot better. In hindsight, it was a little foolish of me to even think of scheduling anything at all on the day after Chemo. What was I thinking?! Well, what I was thinking was, “I’m not gonna let cancer change my life, I’m gonna do what I got to do.” But, I learned that I was wrong.
Lifting the experiences of the day before up for the Lord’s perusal in prayer the next morning as I thanked him for much improvement in feeling better, His word to me was, “Yes, Jeanne, cancer IS going to change things, but, don’t fret about it, I will be with you, ALL the way.” The Lord always knows just what to say to me to calm my spirit, to give me knowledge and insight. It is the knowledge that God is with me that gives me not only strength, but perseverance, courage, laughter and even joy at this time of not knowing, not knowing what’s next in my health care, or how cancer will effect the rest of my life. I have a peace about it; that, can only come from God.
HYPED UP AND FEELING GOOD
It’s a bright, new day today. 100mg of Prednisone must be some powerful stuff. For 4 days post Chemo, I have to take these pills every morning. It’s given to stop allergic reaction from Chemo and as an anti inflammatory. But, it’s a steroid and it really gets the heart beating fast and hypes a person up. So, I was feeling good today and full of amazing energy. I cleaned the entire house – for 7 hours! I tuned to my favorite country hymns station on Pandora – streaming from speakers in every room of the house – and sang along at the top of my voice as I worked. There is nothing like gospel music to lift your spirits. I pretty much turned the house upside down while the cleaning fit was on, which drove my husband out the door and into his barn for sanctuary. He peeked in later in the afternoon to make sure I was done and didn’t have any more jobs lined up for him to do.
I spent the rest of the afternoon learning how to use the Walmart app so I could order groceries online and my husband could go to the Walmart Pick Up Station to get them. What a great idea and just in time for my new issue. The doctor doesn’t want me to go to the grocery store because so many people have the flu this season. I love going to the grocery store. Something else I have to give up – for now – I tell myself it is just for now. Oh, and I must stay out of crowded restaurants, movie theaters, airplanes, hospitals, nursing homes, schools- well, you get the picture. And, no more hugging people or giving them the ‘handshake of peace’ at church. I’m a hugger, this new rule sucks big time for me, so I’ll just have to be satisfied with blowing kisses I suppose. According to the doctor, germs are pretty much everywhere, and I must avoid germs at all costs. So, now my OCD has a new project to obsess about – cleanliness. I’m already on it!